The Little Things That Change Everything

Allison Bantz

Ever since we started building HeyDay, I see reminders everywhere of why this work matters. Maybe it’s the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon (aka the frequency illusion)—once you notice something, you see it everywhere. Or maybe it’s just midlife, when everything feels different. Or maybe it’s the complexity of the world we’re all living in right now.

It feels like everywhere I turn, HeyDay is showing up in small ways. A local contractor recently posted about a gift he received from a client: “Imagine someone goes to Korea and remembers YOU…that’s true appreciation” (Source: @mayorclemente). In a book I’m reading, a line stopped me cold: “good intentions don’t count.” Even my chiropractor found himself talking about his fiancée’s love language and how he’s learning to show up well. Everywhere I look, the world is quietly craving thoughtfulness and intentionality.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about that word—intentionality—what it means to really show up well for the people I care about. To make sure they know I value them, that their memories and milestones matter to me. It’s not about grand gestures; it’s about small moments that carry weight. A check-in at the right time. Remembering the details. Marking the things that are important to them, not just the things that are important to me. That kind of attention creates a sense of belonging, and I want to be the kind of person who gives that.

I’ll admit, I’ve always been the “strong and capable” type—the one who doesn’t ask for help. But lately I’ve been craving that moment when someone just shows up for me. I have a feeling a lot of my friends feel the same. I see it in the conversations I’m having, especially with people making career shifts like I just did. When someone reaches out, even in small ways, it means so much. And when someone notices me—whether it’s a message, a comment, or a quick check-in—I feel it deeply.

One of the best examples of this was my Mom sending me my favorite local flowers - Oberer’s and my favorite fall donuts from Tuttle Orchards out of the blue—no birthday, no milestone, no reason at all except “just because.” 

And here’s the thing: she knows the flowers I love and the flavors I crave. That’s what made her gesture so meaningful. Because if she didn’t know, the whole moment could’ve felt different. You know the mental spiral—Okay, do I get the blueberry? Or chocolate? Maybe pumpkin? Wait, do they even like donuts? Hold on—aren’t they allergic to some fruits? 

Suddenly what was supposed to be thoughtful feels stressful. 

The truth is, it really is the little things. Remembering. Following up. Not letting a conversation drop into the void. I saw a post recently that said:

“Remember what people care about—their sick parent, their job interview, their kid’s recital. Then follow up. How did it go? It changes everything. Most people forget the second the conversation ends. Be the one who remembers. Connection is just attention plus memory.”  (Source: @scottdclary)

Yes, yes, yes. That’s exactly it.

And that’s what HeyDay is all about. In this season of life, attention and memory are scarce. We’re all juggling too much. So why not ask for a little help?

That’s what we’re building: a way to be effortlessly thoughtful. To help each other remember, follow up, and connect in ways that matter.

Let’s be the ones who remember.